03 Mar 2018
- There are real, proper icicles like you used to get in the 80s
- A tow truck drove down the hill in the snow to rescue a stuck vehicle, missed crashing into our house by less than a metre, and hit the bus stop sign and knocked it over. (Last time it snowed, a snow plough knocked the bottom half of our drainpipe off. So, getting more nervous.)
- Birds are missing. Made some emergency bird-cakes in case it helps.
I really expected to get cabin fever, but it was entirely absent. I spent the entire snow-time contentedly inside the house (except for two trips to the post box) feeling massively grateful that I have a) a building to live in and b) a line of work that doesn't involve having to leave it very much.
28 Feb 2018
I am now in possession of a Normal Sounding Bicycle Bell. I didn't actually do this on purpose; it just came with my folding bike, for which I have exchanged my old bike because it enables me to do logistically complicated and stressful but overall excellent things involving trains.
Recently I rang the Normal Sounding Bicycle Bell on the cycle path when there were two people walking on it in front of me, next to each other, naturally taking up about three quarters of the available space because that's the size people are relative to the cycle path. I rang it quite a lot. The people did not make any reaction. So I very carefully passed them in the tiny amount of remaining space. They still didn't move out of the way, but one of them remarked to me, quite amiably, "Oh, I thought I heard a bicycle bell!" as I went by.
I travelled a further 50 metres or so, processing this interaction, and then muttered under my breath, "So if you thought you heard a bell, why didn't you look round to see where it was coming from?" or something. I mean, how are these people still walking around unscathed? Surely some noticed-but-ignored danger should have, like, got them by now.
27 Jan 2018
COFFEE ADDICT: "People seem to think tea and coffee are interchangeable because they both contain caffeine, but they're totally different."
TEA ADDICT: "Yes. A cup of tea is like being woken up with a hug. A cup of coffee is like being woken up by being punched in the head."
COFFEE ADDICT: "It's not quite like being punched in the head."
TEA ADDICT: "Not even punched in the head... in a good way?"
COFFEE ADDICT: "No, it's more like... being peeled. Or emerging from an egg."
TEA ADDICT: "Oh, OK. To me it still feels like being punched in the head."
COFFEE ADDICT: "To me, tea feels like it's just... nothing."
07 Jan 2018
Now we are out of the Arbitrarily Stupidest Month of the Year TM and can get on with things again.
I have been getting on with:
a) Temporarily forgetting that the age of my body is 37, not 7, and running down a grassy hill screaming, just for the hell of it. Then wondering, an hour later, "why does my knee hurt?" and then, the next day, "Why do my legs hurt in four places and why is walking down hills now suddenly painful?"
b) Adding "running down hills screaming" to my list of things that I must not do any more because I am apparently too old. I'm not even that old! What is this? I don't approve.
c) Two things that are large, long-term projects that are taking ages so I feel like I can't disclose any details until they're done, which is kind of frustrating but one day they will be finished. They will.
d) Spending the daylight part of the winter solstice on a bicycle in some trees, which I entirely recommend. (Obviously this was before the end of December, but it is still getting mentioned because it was nice.)
e) Finding a skirt in a charity shop the other day that seems to be a kind of distillation of the nineties, all crushed velvet and black and multicoloured floral patterns, almost exactly the same fabric as a hat that one of my friends had in 1996. Obviously I bought it, and was so excited about it that I changed into it in the pub toilets straightaway afterwards.
f) Not my tax return, ohgodohgod